time not to be afraid......for it is coming...

When change occurs, what would your reaction be? Depends on what the change is? Does it not? Lately, the main change in my life has been pretty much positive. I have been even more of a father to my son, and not just by spending more time with him, but by actually fulfilling one of his wishes! Literally one of his wishes. I wanted to join a basketball camp, and one day I heard him actually praying to you know who, if he could let him do so. It was a bit pricey, but what price can you put on a dream? So I gave him his wish and he was the happiest little boy on earth, and I was the happiest father on earth, then something happened that had not happened for a long time....I actually felt proud of myself. Proud of myself for doing something for the most important person in the world to me, and actually doing it right!

Another dream has been slowly taking place, one that is what I'm constantly thinking about, besides family.....my career. I love tattooing, and I feel that tattooing is finally loving me back. I have been constantly booked recently and not just by walk-ins, even though I am grateful for them the same. If I could, I would honestly tattoo all the time, and do it for free and live under a rock and hunt and gather for my food. Unfortunately I have to provide, but would not have it any other way since its for my son. But tattooing is what I love to do, and some people say its just because I have been tattooing for such a short time, that it will ware off as the years pass by and I will not want to do it as much and will not be as eager. I agree if I got to a comfortable spot in my career and had no more drive to push myself, to test my brain and create a new bar setting. I will not be like that, sure, I may need a rest from time to time, but this is who I am. This is why I do it. Why would I let that change? is it possible that it has a lot to do with self confidence? or maybe even a sense of failure.

This will not be me. I live, eat, breathe, bleed, sweat, and shit this stuff. I will let no man dictate or try to convince me that they know my future. I may have other endeavors or hobbies, or simple interests, but tattooing is me. I am not blessed with thousands of dollars to buy whatever I want when I want it, I am not blessed with great looks to please any ones eye that I wish, but I am blessed with heart, hard work, and sincerity, and I continue to make things happen with those three things, including many other suits, everyday. I fear an obstacle is coming, and coming soon. I am truly one to believe in karma, and do try to think about my actions and words before I execute them. I feel that I must assess this before it manifests into something inevitable.

Man is truly complex, but yet simple......its what our situations and feelings manipulate us to do. I take a new stand at everyday starting tomorrow, I must do what I have to do to intercept this forthcoming obstacle, but what sacrifices will I have to make......