Ignorance is actually happiness.....

Being in the modern world with current situations and obligations and expectations creates a feeling of heavy stone carried not just on my back, but my whole body, especially my hands, knowing that they play the biggest part in all of my mental obstacles.

All I can think of is the feeling of envy when it comes to those who occupy the state of being of relaxation and bliss. To return five years ago and to be completely ignorant to things that would develop into stressful nonsense.

To be able to wake up or fall asleep with only the thought of what's to come the next day and not what's to come the next month or even year. To be present at certain places or participate in certain activities without being reminded of mentally painful times, or times that I feel I can never have again that I wish so badly that I could. To be relieved of such animosity and hardship would result in a feeling that can only be described as simply just floating from the ground and up into the sky with nothing but positive encounters to expect on the way.

But yet, I still find myself ridiculed, plotted against, hated and many other things by the modern world I live in, but all due to the fact I deserve it all. Some will see this and simply think "shut up"......they are probably right.

All I know is, that one day, I will be ignorant enough to be in a blissful state once again....

Time=movement....

Time shallows all imaginary projections whether it's emotional or physical. We have no primary control over the fact, but we can steer our own personal action or thoughts during the passing of this time, before reaching an absolute point or demise.

When certain actions or decisions are made, the end result or expectation are, for the most part, is decided by time indefinitely. And sure, you can try to derail an outcome, but if you take a few steps backwards away from your average up-close view, and see it from a broad, foretelling view, you can see how an outcome was literally designed.

Just do your best to prep yourself or to control the filter that will have an outcome pass through it, and realize that we succumb to all and any movement in all vast voids or movements in space, including our own galaxies movements, also known as time......

To lie to a mirror...

If someone stood in front of a mirror, and told a lie, they would know that a mirror does not lie, in fact, it only reveals the lie to the person because most of the time the person can't convince themselves to believe the lie to be truth.

However, people often lie to other people, and being that they cant see the a direct reflection of of themselves, feel a level of conviction that is delivered to the other people, so the other person may believe the lie. This, unfortunately, happens to everyone, including myself. But I find it extremely interesting to see the person on the lying end, continue to act out there lie, when the other person completely knows what they are hearing is false. And the thing is, the wittier liars, when called on their falsifications, try to "smart and argue" their way out of it. If this situation is upon you, or feel like it might be, take comfort in knowing that you do have the upper hand and are spared of embarrassment in actuality, regardless what they try to convince themselves about you in their world. Sometimes, no matter how much you can argue or prove a point to someone, no matter how blue in the face you get, some people who lie or try to think they know things you don't about certain situations, have done so too often that they actually convinced themselves that their lie is truth, not only in their world, but also in actuality. And as much as they might care, when it comes down to it, truth will prevail, and indeed it shows ones own worth, and how it's lesser than that of one who maintains more weight on the sincerity side of the scale.......

"the verbal poison descended from your mouth may not be reflected like imagery from a mirror, but know that I'm a verbal mirror to you, and your only convincing yourself my brother..."

.............

Due date for resurfacing....

Sometimes I'll catch myself in a mindset that I've decided previously wasn't a favorable one. Such as not practicing C.Y.A. (Cover Your Ass). Like when I'm in a great mood, not only am I generous, polite, and constantly trying to be considerate (which are things I always try to be), but also do my best to go the extra mile with many compliments that are sincere and actions that are also very genuine.

Doing this though, on the contrary, also leaves what I call "social blind spots". One would say it falls under the category of over-thinking. I say, it's not over thinking if it prevents 'obvious' problems or situations that are wished to be avoided, such as kindness being taken for weakness, or actually facing false assumptions of character, later affecting the other overall opinions of others based on myself. And the big general of them all, just plain old being taken advantage of. As paranoid and what not as it all sounds, lately I tell myself to constantly resurface to the big picture and to avoid social blind spot around the individuals that I need to turn the C.Y.A. switch on for. Because those who are thought to be weak are also targets for being victims of being placed in situations, verbal or/and physical alike, of unwanted dramatics or or scenarios they have nothing to do with, or even as distractions for someone else's actions, which is their way of C.Y.A.

So if you've had certain events or situations with people you deal with everyday or people of your choosing it's necessary for, remember to have a due date of resurfacing during your interactions.......that's just me though....

As high as nimbus clouds, and low as recycling old hamburger grease to customers 3 weeks later, real is real, fake is silicone. Were born to die and we die because we live, don't be an asshole, but if you do, please spray febreeze, and stop clogging the toilet. I love ramen, I think I'm naruto, and he is saske. This is the first time in months i have written on here, and I've been drinking, so I'll stop now, by I'll start writing stuff again now, thanks for your time mahalo, gracias, and shut up, late.

Oh how time creates a substantial feeling when emotions open the door...

Even now, theres a constant fire inside. A fire inside to achieve what was once thought to be something out of reach. With constant temporary goals met, it is still only battles being won, not the war. Why? Why are we unwillingly chosen to possess such a passion that most of the time only blinds us? That allows a once violent pain, to be simply numb. That allows the mind to have run-ins with ourselves of the parallel dimension. That pushes our God given human gift known as being "artistic" to horizons not yet seen, but only to be adapted to until the next unveiling has emerged. That enables one with closed eyes to have more vision than those with the gift of sight.

Our minds are capable of more than you can even to bare to imagine. And the truth is, we will most likely never be able to witness such capabilities until we make our decent to the ultimate parallel universe. Different people believe in different destinations, some believe in no destination. I believe that we have definitely have been created by all of earths resources, and energies that circle our existences constantly, but that's exactly it.....I believe we were created. I am a strong believer in paying credit where credit is due. And it would be overwhelmingly selfish if I were to not honor my own principles when it comes to the very taken for granted subject of "life". I have not been innocent of this in the past, but I now rather choose the eyes of the closed than those with the wasted gift of open eyes. We do have a purpose, and its a purpose that does coexist with science and faith. If you have faith for a loved one to beat cancer, or to survive a heart attack or a stroke, you have definitely had an experience with faith. I have faith, that we are the ultimate design of not a being, but something far greater than what we can ever imagine.

This life is what were given to do with, at our own disposal, and with the common occurrence called death.....how you die is completely out of your hands. Even suicide, even though you make think its a choice or your own, its not, its your mind being overwhelmed by current energies that the mind decides to dwell on. It can be prevented, but still its an overtaking.....

I have lost loved ones, relatives, childhood friends, strangers....and have felt a feeling of nothing but anger. But I now realize that it is also the same feeling or pathway to feel as when a positive occurs in my favor, when the negative occurs in an others. I'm given the same existence tools that everyone else was.......

i believe.....i can feel.....i can submerge myself.....i can love....

I, Jose Guevara Morales, do not deserve what I was given, for I am a sinner and have sinned maliciously, but still am grateful and wish the glorious onto others way before myself........

Amen......

Me, or the other Me.....

Well, here I am writing again and I know its been a very long time since last post, but I've been on a roller coaster ride between then and now, as I'm sure it has been with the rest of everyone else. You can also say a lot has changed as well. One thing is that Ive been coming across a lot of multi-personality carrying people. And I don't mean like the actual diagnosis (although it probably still the case) but what I guess you can associate with people who just want to please everybody.

Like if Larry wants to go see a movie hes been waiting to see for a long time, and comes across the opportunity to see it with two different people. Person A. that watches the movie with him sees certain situations in the film as being pretty entertaining and hilarious due to actual personal experiences. Larry actually wanted to cry when witnessed to these parts of the film. Plus the film portrayal of these moments was very dramatic. Well, Larry holds back his true emotions and he even tries to laugh along with person A. Thus compromising his true self in nature.

When Larry saw the same film with person B., he noticed that there was absolutely no emotion on person B.'s face. Not sadness, compassion. Maybe a couple of smiles here and there but that is all. And though, realistically, there is nothing wrong with that, once again Larry compromised his true emotions he felt from the movie, and acted just as person B. acted.

Now imagine Larry taking on this behavior with everything else in his life. No matter what the cause or reason is, he takes this behavior on with almost any social situation. Most people would call this "not being real". But what if this behavior is actually what he gives more of a priority to? What if he decides to live his life like this and believes this is used to his advantage? Always taking a side, but never taking a side. Speaking up about things but yet being quiet when something should be said. Acting on things that didn't happen but when things do happen, not moving a muscle. Trying to please, impress, entertain, befriend everyone, but not really having your own position to stand on. Not taking sides can be a great thing, but can also be bad as well as most of you probably know by experience. I sure do.

To be cool and to have a lot to offer seems to be the mainstream, as it has been for a very long time, but when does it start to take a toll? When are main soul motivators and principles disappear? When will be the last day when any of us meet someone who is actually the person they portray themselves, physically and verbally? When can we really not be worried about the other side of the wall? When people say that they don't want to hear everything someone else has to say, or don't want to know everything that goes through someones mind, there is a reason for that. Fear. Fear that they might see, or hear something they don't want to. Will the opposite day ever come? I am not perfect, I am not calling positives or negatives, but merely pointing out something that really is ignored or recognized but not acknowledged........